The Barefoot and Pregnant in Perpetuity Act of 2005

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  The Barefoot and Pregnant in Perpetuity Act of 2005September 09, 2005 00:00 The Bush administration this week submitted a draft of landmark legislation designed to "reestablish the firm hold of our country's Christian roots upon the American family structure." The Barefoot and Pregnant in Perpetuity Act of 2005 establishes legal guidelines for the creation, function, and limited dissolution of marriages in the US. The federal legislation also establishes the definition of marriage as "a faith-based contract entered into by a man and, preferably, a much younger woman who has never before seen any but the hand of God." Under the Act, marriages involving gays, lesbians, atheists, circus clowns, and liberal activists will not be recognized by the federal government. However, children spawned in any natural sexual union shall be protected and given the full rights of a US citizen from conception. Women who make more money than their husbands run the risk of being sent to federal career retraining programs where they will learn to more appropriately prioritize the needs of their children, husbands, religion, and, lastly, career. Finally, the Act declares that all divorces shall be no-fault and that women are entitled to custody of children, pets, and a proportional share of the family income based upon jobs held by the woman before declared dissolution of the marriage. Perhaps the most controversial provision in the Act is an exemption from prosecution for sex crimes for any man who is now or has ever been married to a woman. When asked how such a controversial bill might be enacted, Karen Hughes, Bush's new public diplomacy czar, stated "through surveys we have discovered that over 80% of the American public is Christian. As a result, the President feels that he has the moral capital to introduce such a law that will allow the American people the freedom of expression in a legal environment that protects their moral values."

posted by MgEd