US Contracts with North Korea to Build Moat

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  US Contracts with North Korea to Build MoatOctober 12, 2006 12:56

Under pressure from conservative and anti-illegal immigration groups, the Bush administration announced a plan to build a moat along the US and Mexican border. The US$799 billion dollar contract was awarded to Halliburton in a no bid process after a closed meeting of the House Appropriations Committee. After a search for cheap moat building services, Halliburton settled on a contract with the North Korean government of Kim Jung Il II to supply cheap, imprecise nuclear warheads that will be detonated underground along the border. The warheads are expected to fracture the Earth so that North America splits along a seam created by the underground explosions. It is then expected that the US and Canada will simply 'float away' from Mexico.

The Canadian government, anxious to make sure that the province of Quebec doesn't get any bright ideas during the moat building process, has begun anchoring Quebec to neighboring Ontario province. The anchors were obtained from the Chinese government that has long used such devices to hold onto Tibet and is currently trying to figure out how to affix them to Taiwan.

Several environmental and other unpatriotic groups have threatened to line up along the border with Mexico during the detonations, however since the Immigration and Customs Enforcement was given unilmited ability to ignore all US law by congress, they simply expect to vaporize the protesters along with a variety of endangered and unnecessary species.