Pat Robertson Issues Jihad Against Global Warming

In a surprising turn to the Left, the world renowned televangelist and petroleum industry investor Pat Robertson declared that there should be a 'Christian Jihad' against global warming on his 700 Club television show.  Claiming that global warming is one of the greatest threats to mankind next to homosexual marriage and flag burning, Robertson stated that the United States should use any and all means necessary, including CIA hit men, to end the threat of rising global temperatures.

Quoting Psalm 37:2, Robertson compared Al Quaeda terrorists under the onslaught of US forces in the Middle East to the effects of global warming on our environment, stating "for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away."  In an increasingly less rare show of senility, Robertson then went on to discuss his recent stock investments which included several arms dealers, petroleum companies, and GM, the marketer of the Hummer.