http://www.fight-the-right.org/ Liberal and Democratic political bumper stickers, commentary, news, and more en-us Mon, 15 Jun 2009 06:03:14 MST chris@fight-the-right.org chris@fight-the-right.org Copyright (c) 2007 www.fight-the-right.org. All rights reserved. http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-2490.html#2490 Under pressure from conservative and anti-illegal immigration groups, the Bush administration announced a plan to build a moat along the US and Mexican border. The US$799 billion dollar contract was awarded to Halliburton in a no bid process after a closed meeting of the House Appropriations Committee. After a search for cheap moat building services, Halliburton settled on a contractwith theNorth Korean government of Kim Jung Il IIto supply cheap, imprecise nuclear warheads that will be detonat... Thu, 12 Oct 2006 12:56:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-2490.html#2490 US morality http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-2445.html#2445 Reporters recently discovered that after visiting a restaurant called the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company, a commercialized spin-off of the Forrest Gump movie, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld had the bright idea to use a two sided token during high-level cabinet and presidential meetings. Instead of "Run, Forrest, Run" and "Stop, Forrest, Stop," the tokens say "Lie, Forrest, Lie" and "Truth, Forrest, Truth." White House stenographers have been instructed to stop n... Mon, 02 Oct 2006 10:59:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-2445.html#2445 US homeland-security http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-2219.html#2219 In a surprising turn to the Left, the world renowned televangelist and petroleum industry investor Pat Robertson declared that there should be a 'Christian Jihad' against global warming on his 700 Club television show. Claiming thatglobal warming is one of the greatest threats to mankind next to homosexual marriage and flag burning, Robertson stated that the United States should use any and all means necessary, including CIA hit men, to end the threat of rising global temperatures. Qu... Tue, 08 Aug 2006 12:56:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-2219.html#2219 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-373.html#373 Inside sources report that president Bush and wife, Laura, experienced a domestic dispute while driving a golf cart around the exclusive Bonehead Country Club in Bonehead, TX. The pair had been having a pleasant day of golf until the decision to cross a small bridge or continue on the paved pathway came up, with Laura insisting that the bridge was impassable. The president, tired of having Democrats and women -- especially women Democrats -- question his presidential authority, asserted himsel... Thu, 27 Apr 2006 03:45:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-373.html#373 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-374.html#374 Believing that the US needs to "pull itself up by its bootstraps," president Bush appointed the deceased Soviet dictator, Joseph Stalin, to a new cabinet-level position. "As the Secretary of Homeland Morale, Joe will be the president's right-hand man in convincing the American people that we are working hard to spread freedom and democracy throughout the world. Joe's job is to ensure that Americans become proud of the job that we are doing in Iraq and Afghanistan," state... Thu, 27 Apr 2006 03:36:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-374.html#374 US world-news http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-375.html#375 President Bush announced today that his administration had approved of a deal in which Saudi Arabia would take over US Transportation Security Agency activities at American airports. The Saudi responsibilities would include baggage and passenger screening as well as terrorism deterrence. Shocked Senators from both parties issued press releases questioning the President's judgement in handling over the security of the nation's airline passengers to a country that produced most of the S... Thu, 23 Feb 2006 22:35:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-375.html#375 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-376.html#376 At a press conference today, President Bush claimed the excuse that he 'missed that day in school' when a young reporter corrected the president's statement that 'we have assumed the role of the next Evil Empire as the great Ronald Reagan wanted.' Bush seemed astounded when a high school intern to the New York Times raised his hand and told the president that 'Ronald Reagan actually said that the Soviet Union was the Evil Empire, sir.' The student continued by descr... Mon, 19 Dec 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-376.html#376 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-377.html#377 This poster pretty much says it all... Read your 1930's era historical literature and join the war on terror.... Thu, 01 Dec 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-377.html#377 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-378.html#378 Former US Secretary of State and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Colin Powell, has been revealed to be the author of a new best selling how-to guide named 'Dummies Guide to Invading the Middle East.' A sampling of the chapter titles includes: 'Mullahs Love Missles', 'Body Armor, It Protects', 'Don't Listen to Halliburton', 'Jesus has Left the Region', and much more. The book has been seen in the hands of pols ranging from Bill Frist to the Arn... Tue, 11 Oct 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-378.html#378 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-379.html#379 US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice gave a seminal speech at the UN yesterday, attempting to rally support for the US War on Terror. In the speech, she made a conclusive link between the War on Terror and the recent devastating hurricane Katrina in the US. 'Now is the time to act,' stated Rice, 'while the US job market is down, and oil prices are up, our military recruiting should be at an all-time high. We cannot squander this precious opportunity to allow poor people to give ... Sat, 01 Oct 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-379.html#379 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-380.html#380 Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, ''I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.'' One of the others said. ''That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events in the... Mon, 26 Sep 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-380.html#380 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-381.html#381 President Bush, in a rambling speech before assembled leaders at the UN World Summit, urged his skeptical peers to rid the planet of terror, apathy, consternation, and other 'useless' emotions. 'Who needs apathy?' Bush asked. He continued, 'What about that annoying feeling you have after you wet the bed? Who needs it? As world leaders, we need to work hard to put a stop to all these useless feelings. No one needs these feelings. Feelings... feel... well... they get in the... Sun, 18 Sep 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-381.html#381 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-382.html#382 Here's a photo of Bush taking advantage of the post-Katrina flooding :)... Fri, 09 Sep 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-382.html#382 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-383.html#383 The Bush administration this week submitted a draft of landmark legislation designed to "reestablish the firm hold of our country's Christian roots upon the American family structure." The Barefoot and Pregnant in Perpetuity Act of 2005 establishes legal guidelines for the creation, function, and limited dissolution of marriages in the US. The federal legislation also establishes the definition of marriage as "a faith-based contract entered into by a man and, preferably, a much... Fri, 09 Sep 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-383.html#383 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-384.html#384 President George W. Bush has issued a statement lamenting that a release of oil to flood the road in front of an anti-war caravan headed to Washington was not a planned event and has been 'an accidental and regrettable waste of a critical national resource.' The oil, taken out of the Strategic Petroleum Reserve and transported by tanker truck to the highway in front of the caravan, seems to have delayed the group's movements by a day or so, possibly long enough for the President'... Thu, 01 Sep 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-384.html#384 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-385.html#385 During a recent call between the Oval Office and the country's backup command center in Kennebunkport, Maine, where the former President George H. W. Bush is holed up, the younger President George W. Bush told his father to "Shut the f*** up because I'm President now, Daddy." The elder Bush was expressing his discomfort with W43's plummeting poll numbers, showing him to be as unpopular as Johnson was during the dog days of the Viet Nam war. The current President Bush became... Thu, 18 Aug 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-385.html#385 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-386.html#386 Byron Spencer, decorated Viet Nam veteran and current homeless resident of Oklahoma City, declared that he "wouldn't give ten cents" to attend a nearby Presidential fundraising dinner. Mr. Spencer recounted his tale of being rousted from a cardboard box outside the ritzy Palms restaurant yesterday when Secret Service agents and city Environmental Management staff were sweeping the area in preparation for the President's arrival. The dinner, costing $2,000 per plate, is expected... Thu, 04 Aug 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-386.html#386 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-387.html#387 US President George W. Bush shocked the audience at a recent US$10,000 per plate Republican Party fundraiser by telling the truth. Bush's statement seems to have been so offhand and so unexpected that several members of the audience went into cardiac arrest and a White House intelligence analyst went blind. When asked about the contents of the President's statement, one fundraiser attendee stated that it was "too horrible to describe, but it had something to do with the weather.... Mon, 01 Aug 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-387.html#387 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-388.html#388 In a bold move sure to please the religious right, President Bush has dissolved the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, dismissing it as "a virtual Tower of Babel in the mistaken pursuit of equality with God." Instead, Bush has proposed a new "National Underworld Digging Enterprise" which will have the charter to tunnel a pathway "straight down to Hell." Bush hopes that the tunnel will allow a coalition of the willing to attack Hell, the ultimate front in the... Fri, 15 Jul 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-388.html#388 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-389.html#389 Whitehouse press secretary Scott McLellan had to be restrained by Secret Service agents today during a press conference. McLellan lunged into the Whitehouse press corps seats after a series of heated questions regarding the complicity of Karl Rove in the Valerie Plame scandal, hitting reporters on the forehead, and shouting "You have been healed by the Power of Freedom!" Earlier in the press conference, McLellan had defended Bush administration policies by stating that "The ideolog... Wed, 13 Jul 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-389.html#389 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-390.html#390 A new memo leaked by British staffers categorizes the names by which Downing Street student interns are allowed to refer to Prime Minister Tony Blair when creating communique's from Blair's office to the White House. Apparently, numerous nicknames for Blair abound including US President George W. Bush's pet names for the PM such as "Mini Me", "Podner", and "Li'l Buddy". Nicknames from the Tory and liberal press are strictly forbidden, including "Bush... Tue, 12 Jul 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-390.html#390 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-391.html#391 US First Lady Laura Bush arrived at McMurdo Station in Antarctica today as part of her 'Save the Children' tour, but appeared disoriented and confused after discovering that there were no hordes of starving children on the frigid continent. When questioned by the First Family press corps who accompanied Mrs. Bush on the trip, the First Lady insisted that " (US Vice President) Dick Cheney told me that all southern continents were guaranteed to have poor children." Upon hearing tha... Tue, 28 Jun 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-391.html#391 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-392.html#392 Abdul Hassan, former Iraqi citizen and resident of Waco, TX, claims to have found evidence that Iraqi oil may be lying just meters below the Texas surface. A former worker in the oil fields of Saddam Hussein, Hassan asserts that the crude he works with in the Haliburton-owned petroleum fields outside Waco "smells, feels, and tastes" just like the crude oil that he worked with in his homeland. Hassan contacted an international legal team based in the Hague to find out what reparations the... Thu, 16 Jun 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-392.html#392 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-393.html#393 A new, unauthorized biography of the Bush family by an unnamed close confidant disclosed startling details of the ties between the Bush family and the bin Laden family. The book details the current President's relationship with one of the middle bin Laden siblings, Ubomba bin Laden, elder brother to the wanted Osama. The President, then called Georgey, would dress up in cowboy and Indian attire with Ubomba and walk around calling the Saudi 'Tonto' while demanding to be called the ... Mon, 06 Jun 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-393.html#393 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-394.html#394 Jenna and Barbara Bush, twin daughters of US President George W. Bush, were caught being photographed in matching Neo-Nazi bondage gear at a wild Memorial Day party at Camp David. The twins were reported to be drinking large quantities of tequila, strutting around in front of cameras with whips, and yelling "Heil Bush!" The Presidential daughters were accompanied on their holiday weekend by the entire Sigma Upsilon Chi fraternity from Oral Roberts University. Although the Bush twins are ... Mon, 30 May 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-394.html#394 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-395.html#395 Former Secretary of State Colin Powell was caught red-handed today calling in to a liberal talk radio show while staying as a guest at the White House. A Secret Service agent who was listening to the "Randi Rhodes Show" broke into Secretary Powell's suite after hearing a mysterious caller refer to the President as "The Holy Texan Emperor." An unnamed source confirmed that this is a cabinet level code for President Bush. The Secretary was midway through bashing administration ... Mon, 23 May 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-395.html#395 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-396.html#396 Stunning opponents with a crafty political maneuver, President George W. Bush awarded himself the Presidential Medal of Freedom in a Rose Garden Ceremony today. In a somber voice, the President declared that by invading two "heathen stone-age countries and killing over 100,000 Iraqi terrorists at the cost of only 1,600 dead US soldiers" he had done more to promote the spread of freedom around the planet than any other president, "living or dead." The President also stated that he... Thu, 19 May 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-396.html#396 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-397.html#397 May 13, 2005 - In a sign of the times, the National Park Service today announced that the Statue of Liberty would be replaced by a decommissioned oil rig that will be transported by barge from the Alaskan coast. Interior Secretary Gale Norton stated that the change to the monument was "inspired by the Broadwater Liquid Natural Gas Plant project proposed off of Long Island Sound." She also stated that the Ellis Island renovation would "demonstrate our modern commitment to environmenta... Fri, 13 May 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-397.html#397 US satire http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-398.html#398 Clive, the Central African Right elephant whose family has been mascots of the Republican party for the last 130 years, came out of the closet today. In a press conference at the Capital Zoo, announced by White House spokesman Scott McLellan, Clive announced that "he wanted henceforth to be referred to as Elley" and that he, or rather she wished to "reach out to the many disaffected Republican voters who are closet gays and compulsive HSN buyers". She then proceeded to apply lips... Fri, 01 Apr 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.fight-the-right.org/satire-398.html#398 US satire