Jenna and Barbara Bush Drafted For War in Iran
Jenna and Barbara Bush Drafted For War in IranMarch 23, 2009 00:00 J: Hello. This is Jen.
B: And this is Barbi. This is our journal where we'll be talking about fashion, partying, and our horrible deployment to Iran to fight in the War on Terror.
J: You see, Daddy was unable to change the law so that he could serve a third term in office and mean President Hillary Clinton claimed that she was forced to institute a draft
B: Yeah. She said that the USA didn't have enough troops to fight in Iraq, Syria, North Korea, Afghanistan, and south central LA, all the places that Daddy and uncle Dicky said were where the bad people were.
J & B: BUT WE SURE SHOWED THAT OLD FART CASTRO! YEAH! (Giggles)
J: Anyway. Last fall, in October, right before the election, Daddy was forced to bomb Iran because he discovered that the Shah in Iran had a secret plot to put a giant laser in space and hold the world hostage for one million dollars.
B: Like that would even buy me a pair of shoes. (More giggles)
J: So Aunt Connie went to the African Union and convinced the country of Africa to support us in attacking Iran. Unfortunately, Uncle Frisky... um... I mean Senator Frist, lost the election to Hillary "That evil bitch" Clinton so Daddy's friends weren't able to complete their work in Iran.
B: Yeah, then that nasty woman, like a woman is even fit to be President, said that we had to institute a draft to have enough troops to support the wars in Asiatica.
J: So like, there we were, on track to complete our undergraduates in 8 years, when the draft board happens to decide that that wouldn't qualify for exemption! Can you believe it?
B: Unfortunately, Daddy was on an extended vacation in China where the power was out, so he didn't know that we were being shipped to Iran, or else he would have gotten us some sweet posts in party-town, just like he had during the World Viet Nam War.
J: So now we're screwed. They actually make me wear desert camo which goes terrible with my complexion. I can't even get any decent ringtones on my US Army issue cell phone. Who the hell do they think I am, Demi Moore?
B: Well, at least there are plenty of men around so we actualy CAN get screwed.
J: Yeah! And there was that nice captain who said he knew where the best moonshine was brewed. And I even get to drive a HumVee here!! Woo-hoo!
B: And like, this is going to be our journal. Just check it out every couple of days and we hope to keep shining on the cool happenings over here in Iran.
J: Just feel free to mail us any cool mind blowing treats that you can think of :)
Monday, June 15, 2009